Jacques Report


Money player. So true. I’ll never get it out of my head now. Jacques is bored, doubtless wishing he were back spreading Christmas cheer. Or something. Today we went to a bookstore, where he chatted up a very nice young woman — licked her face, even, a total PDA. These French guys don’t waste time. Now, what, I don’t know. Waiting for Santa? The grandkids? More treats? Definitely more treats.
Fortunately my little treat hound can now delegate the thankless tasks. Meet Stan the stand-in. Does Stan mind silly costumes, funny hats, goofy props? No, not in the slightest, and he has no interest in treats. He may be a bit lacking in personality. However at holidays he will be indispensable.



Oh, wait, this is a holiday, or nearly so. Whichever one or ones work for you, go for it. Or them. Celebrate. See you next year.

9 thoughts on “Jacques Report

  1. Ladies and gentlemen, here we have an example of total capitulation to the will of a small white dog. She got a stunt double for the requisite silly dog Christmas costume. Totally caved in to M. Jacques, the clear Alpha in this relationship. Oh the shame. White dog owners everywhere will now have to work twice as hard to humiliate their pups because one of us turned coward and opted for the “stuffed dog look alike” trick.

    Oh well, Happy Chuthlu Saturnalia Day to all, or whatever you choose to celebrate.

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    1. OMG, someone highjacked Maxwell’s account! Or is it hacked into, these days? Max, were he allowed to speak for himself, would surely agree that the stunt double is the way to go. As for who is Alpha and who coward, well, yeah, you’ve got it pegged. He just finagled me into getting up from the sofa, then jumped up and took my spot.

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      1. You can’t slither out of this. Faced with costuming M. Jacques you abandoned all attempts at a profile in courage and let him dominate. Oh well, in the spirit of the season I suppose we can cut some slack – this time – so go have yourself a joyeux Noël, make merry and celebrate! Break out le Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises!

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        1. We will indeed. We’ll need it to wash down the morel-stuffed capon and the caramel-chocolate buche de Noël. As Jacques is cleaning our plates and rather pointedly not sharing with Stan, we will toast to little white dogs and their besotted owners.

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    1. Sadly, I think my sweet little dog has figured that out. When we go for walks, he can smell the pet shop from a block away. He drags me there, absolutely pulls on the leash, and doesn’t stop until he’s in the store at the treats shelves. Toys won’t do. The staff are always very nice, but they are starting to look up at me with a « You again? » look on their face. I’m having to figure out routes that take us in other directions.

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