Jacques Report

I have become an accessory to murder. This is Jacques, digging madly, looking for mice, in a spot I pointed out to him. I guess he figures where there is one mouse, there could be a zillion of them.

He basically mashed the little guy to death, the way he mashes his squeak toys. Then he just moved on. Maybe he was disappointed that the guy didn’t squeak. Dunno, but I may have created a sociopath.

Look, he has just moved on, in search of another victim. My cute little dog, looking good in what is about to become his famous blue raincoat, is a serial killer. All my railing about cats has fallen on deaf ears. It’s not just the cats who weren’t listening.

Can I claim I just didn’t know, like a driver of a getaway car? Didn’t even know the little white dog, just seen him around a couple of times?Would I then have to admit I was just out planting poppy seeds? Yes, That kind of poppy seeds, so maybe I’m becoming a drug lord, too? Maybe I should say yes, we did those things, and I do fervently hope the poppies come up, but it’s not who we are. Would anyone believe any of that?

Oh, my. I guess the best I can hope for is that the owls will find the carcass, make a free meal of it.

Clearly Jacques doesn’t care, as long as he can keep going. But first, the mug shot.

13 thoughts on “Jacques Report

      1. Your sympathies are with the ‘wee, sleeket, cowran, tim’rous beastie’ then, rather than the canine reincarnation of ‘bluidy Clavers’.

        1. Helen, I’m hopeless. When I watch sports I root for both offense and defense, at the same time! So I wanted Jacques to get the mouse, but right away I wanted the mouse to scramble back into its muddy little burrow, scared but otherwise unharmed. Just wait until I tell Jacques you called him “bluidy Clavers.” He’ll be so proud.

  1. Bravo Jacques! Good job!

    he is defending his realm, fully justified!

    Apologies for any typographical errors – sent from a small mobile device.

    >

    1. Oh, oh, how did I get such bloodthirsty friends? He nosed it to death, eew, dug it up and poked it until it died. Okay, I did point out the burrow. I did tell him he was a good dog. And I did deliberately choose a dog that would go to ground. And, well, made homes for two species of owls. But I guess I was thinking huge rats, like the ones that rampaged in our garage in California and do so now all over Paris. I didn’t see myself going all Wind in the Willows, looking at a cute, previously healthy mouse. Live and learn, I guess. Or maybe next time I just won’t look.

      1. There’s a well known Marine Corps cadence song called “Yellow Bird” that details various forms of small animal slaughter. The fourth verse goes:
        A little mouse
        With little feet
        Was sitting on
        My toilet seat
        I pushed him in
        And flushed him down
        And then I watched
        Him spin around
        You could perhaps get Jacques to to march double time and chant this cadence. He will be much admired by other dogs in the neighborhood.

  2. Worse than mice, we have rats running around. I can hear the pitter patter of their feet on the roof tiles at night. The mairie supplies rat poison. The municipal worker who brought it said there’s an infestation of rats along the river, because with the warm winter they didn’t hibernate and instead spent the past months reproducing.
    FYI: https://www.nytimes.com/2013/11/22/nyregion/in-manhattan-alleys-owners-send-their-dogs-on-a-rat-hunt.html

    1. The very definition of party animals.

      Jacques has chased a few rats in Paris, though he’s never caught one. He probably would if we let him off the leash. The concierge at the SO’s office uses Jacques to chase rats out of the building. Good thing I keep Jacques current with his shots.

  3. My heart is with the tiny, grieving kiddie mousies who will never, ever see their beloved PapaMouse again. They sit huddled in the burrow, miserable in the chill air reflecting on the senseless killing by a crazed white dog. It’s so sad.

    Nah, I just made that stuff up. Good for you, Jacques! There is no shortage of mice and we gardeners dance and sing your praises in the removal of another veggie predator. Last year we lost fully 30% of our crop to mice (actually big rats but that sounds disgusting) and I just spent a week building a network of cages to protect this year’s efforts. So please feel free to help rid the world of mice. Even Disney mice. Go for it, Jacques!

    1. That was one fat mouse. Pregnant, maybe, or nursing. And I must say, you guys are all for taking him/her/whatever out, and its defenseless little babies, too! Jacques’ fan club is vocal and loyal to the end. We should all be so lucky.

      Those California rats are nasty. I think they are the same variety that we see in Paris. I don’t think they bother with the countryside. I did just see a feature on Paris allotment gardens and yes, everything was grown in cages. That explains it…

      Now that the cats are gone (bwahahaha) we have a pretty decent ecosystem going. There is enough for everyone to eat, so they didn’t really bother the veggies. This year I have a lot of greens, mizuna and the like. That might be more attractive to pests. We’ll see. Let’s hope Jacques doesn’t poke his nose into the hedgehog.

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