Jean-Yves

This is not good news. So let’s do this now, in hopes that by Christmas you will have moved on.

This lovely man, the one I have lived with for the past five years, has died. Heart attack, followed ten days later by another heart attack. End of story. Today we placed his ashes in the Pere Lachaise columbarium, niche 7070. I seem to have a thing for guys who die of heart attacks. I’d just as soon have a thing for guys who live long and healthy lives, if it’s all the same to the gods.

Jean-Yves was an excellent patent attorney, highly regarded, but he didn’t give a damn how he looked, which suited me just fine. Pretty much: I admit to buying him shirts that would button across his tummy. That he needed those shirts tells you a bit about what happened. You know how your doctor is always such a killjoy with all that no smoking and cut way back on the eating and drinking, too? Well, Jean-Yves had no time for killjoys, not when there was a pipe at hand and a bottle of Jameson in the house.

I’m not only one who wishes he had listened up. He was an outstanding mentor. He trained an entire office of excellent attorneys. My grandson, who interned there for a summer, wrote movingly of how much he learned and of how much Jean-Yves cared about him. Moses, mind you, was Robert’s grandson; many men would have been no more caring than a lion slaughtering the cubs in his new pride. But those two bonded so thoroughly that night after night it was understood that I would vanish and leave them to their conversation, which often ran late into the night.

He’ll be missed.

29 thoughts on “Jean-Yves

  1. Speechless, but so sad for you. I knew Jean-Yves only this blog but the depth of your relationship came through and I enjoyed so much the small glimpses of you two as a couple and as a team in your ventures. There’s nothing I can do. There’s really nothing I can say except my heart is with you, my friend, and I wish you such comfort and peace as can be had in this terrible time. I mourn with you.

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    1. He was, and so mild-mannered that folks were caught by surprise when they realized what a stickler for detail he was. There are, were and will be too few like him.

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  2. I just realized that he will be practically a next-door neighbor to my grandfather who is also buried in the columbarium there. Well not buried but you know what I mean. Number 2025 if memory serves.

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  3. Lynn – your post is very moving and the photos are amazing – no less than deserved for a wonderful man – we were fortunate to have met him. May his memory be a blessing.

    GMN

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  4. I am so very sorry for your loss of such a man…there were only glimpses through your blog, but the happiness shone through bright and clear. Nothing I can say will help, but I feel for you most sincerely and hope you have people around you for support.

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    1. Thanks. I am lucky that his brother and sister are staying close. I have friends down at the house and Jacques will be there when I get home. My other friends have long since adjusted to staying in touch remotely, plus some come to Paris from time to time. The other day the receptionist at my hairdresser ignored covid distancing to give me a hug, which was an absolute blessing. I hadn’t realized before how touch puts us back into connection with others and with life. I have a lot of support and because of that I’ll be okay.

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  5. “Like” isn’t the right name for that button – my very deepest sympathy at what must be a devastating end to this awful year. Thank goodness you have support in these dark days.

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    1. I agree. We often write of sad and serious things so really, is “like” the appropriate reaction ? I’ve simply decided to not take it literally. You are right that covid increases the sense of isolation. At the moment I am in the middle of Paris. I do see people, but the whole idea of just getting out for a walk, no, bad idea. It’s that way for a lot of people right now.

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  6. How hard for you … there are tears in my eyes for your loss. Your writings about your life with Jean-Yves and Jacques have always brought a smile to the morning. Thank you for sharing his pictures- he looks like a wonderful man. I hope the new year will bring some measure of comfort to you.
    …Cherie

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    1. Cherie, my niece? Have you been lurking all this time? Whether yes or no, thank you. He was indeed wonderful, always kind. Anyway, thanks.

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      1. Lurking, yes, niece,no … I rarely if ever leave a comment on any of the few blogs I read but losing someone you cared for again just hit so hard

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  7. I wish I had words to ease the pain or powers to turn back the clock. All I can offer, alas, is my deepest sympathy. Your allusions to Jean-Yves over the years have given glimmers of a warm, intelligent personality, and your tribute to him here is one that would make anyone proud. You are lucky to have been part of his life, and vice-versa.

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    1. Thank you. I just started my Christmas morning hangover. Champagne, white wine, red wine, armagnac, owie. Do you know where I can find some aspirin? My hosts are being absolutely kind and generous. Maybe they have some.

      It is good to hear from you. Give Max and AJF an extra hug. No need to explain that it’s because, you know, they’re still alive. Have a lovely day.

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  8. I’m wishing that, like your hairdresser, I could give you a big hug. Deaths at Christams time are difficult to cope with. But I’m glad you have friends nearby. With much love.

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    1. Thank you. Yes, I am incredibly fortunate to have friends to help me through this at every step of the way. It will take a long time to adjust to the loss, but at least I won’t have to do it alone.

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