Jacques Report

Remember Poodle with a Mohawk? Linda Barry? Never call him Fifi again? Hah. Poodles. It’s all about fashion for them. Westies take action. And Jacques has gone rogue.

It’s his new dog door. Reignoux finished buttoning up my house. It’s all bulletproof now, assuming I remember to lock it up. As part of their work, they designed a dog door, custom-made for Jacques. We drove out to their shop, where they measured him as carefully as would a Saville Row tailor. Chest height, shoulder height, head height, body width, they got it all. Then they designed a door to fit Jacques, of course, but also to suit the look of the door. It’s hard to see, but the knob on the left goes to a sliding metal panel. The vertical reflection on the right, halfway down, is a latch. When the panel covers the dog door, the latch pins the panel in place. Hey presto, nobody is getting in. And no nasty white plastic.

This is the thanks I get. Here the little delinquent is, on his grooming table in the utility room. He loves his door. I can’t keep him in. He runs out and barks, randomly, just for fun. Then he runs back in, probably hoping the neighbors will complain, so I can say “Jacques? Barking? no, see, he’s right here.” Yesterday he brought in a dead pigeon — dead for a while, so at least he’s not killing pigeons, yet. I guess he wanted to give it a decent burial, maybe in the sofa cushions. Fortunately he changed his mind and took it back out again. I have no clue where that pigeon is now. And today, look. Did he really need to roll in the mud? Is being clean all that painful?

I basically triage-cleaned him. Of his various dry shampoos, it turns out the mousse is better than the sprays. He’s sort of tan, now, which I hope won’t rub off on the furniture. I put some antiseptic and skin soother on that ear, so it’s a normal light pink. A little work on the nails and job done, he’s back in action. Not clean, exactly, but better. For now.

13 thoughts on “Jacques Report

    1. He’s been a dog from Day One. My previous dog was a Mini-Me. I swear she understood ordinary conversational English and even tried to respond. This guy has always had his own agenda, the dead pigeon being only the most dramatic case in point. He is a constant source of amusement and wonder.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. He’s having a wonderful time ….goes and comes as he pleases and even brings you a present as thanks…though I supect he became aware that it was not so much a present as a cadeau empoisone.
    We did a mass wash of the thugs as the rainy season seems to have ended, only to find that they had discovered the new muck heap. They returned, proud and noisome, to demonstrate the same. A further mass wash, where the run off greatly resembled the grey-green-greasy Limpopo.


    1. Was there poo in the muck? That was always a favorite of Piper, my Wheaten terrier of long ago. I can’t count the number of times I ran toward her shouting “No, don’t do it!” It rarely worked. They are always so happy afterward, too, wanting to show off their latest accomplishment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. He left you a surprise! Imagine him looking forward to your delighted reaction!
    The muck heap in question was composed of chicken shit and vegetation…no interest whatsoever in the purely green one….


  3. Ah Freedom! The ability to come and go as he pleases! Such joy!

    I am sure the novelty of this wonderfully crafted door will continue to provide years of pleasure for Jacques!

    Wishing you and Jacques the best for 2022


    Apologies for any typographical errors – sent from a small mobile device.



    1. Thanks, Gerard. Yes, and he can cavort with his little friends, too. Remember when we could do that? Best to you and Linda. Covid being the party pooper that it is, I have a serious backlog of rosé waiting for you. Doesn’t alcohol kill germs?


  4. Once again I find that somehow you were deleted from my “Follow” blogs and here I was wondering what you were up to. Happy to be back in the fold. Jacques is a lucky pup to have a bespoke dog door. We’d like to have one for Maxwell but there are too many suburban coyotes around here and they are adept at leaping over property walls. So a trip to the back yard requires that either the AJF or I be in attendance except during broad daylight when the coyotes are either sleeping or out getting Covid tests. Max says dead pigeons are under appreciated.


    1. Well, try to stick around. I’d hate to lose one of my favorite blog buddies. Contractors are here. So far I like the changes but it’s too soon to share. I think I’ll be ready for an interim report in, maybe, a week. Nothing as full-on excellent as the bespoke dog door, but nothing as godfather-level ghastly as dead animals in my bed, either — or watching coyotes run off with your favorite furball, come to think of it. Eew.


Comments are closed.