Jacques Report

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He’s not here any more.

I woke up yesterday morning to find him snuggled up against Sky, using her tummy as a pillow. We had an appointment in Nantes, so I got ready and off we went, to get to the bottom of all the crazy things going wrong with him. They did a scan and found out: bone cancer. It was everywhere. Everywhere. Jacques must have been in terrible pain and never let on.

They sedate dogs to do scans and had kept him sedated. The vet practically begged me to let him put Jacques down, but it wasn’t necessary. Once I understood the situation, there was really no other choice. So now he’s gone.

I’m strongly tempted to follow the example of blog-buddy Tom. Tom had what he called a dog blog. We were partners in little white dog worship. When his Maltese died of heart failure, he ended the blog. Like Tom, I’m likely to make the announcement of the death of my beloved little white dog my last post.

This blog began with a death and it may well end with one. When Robert died I moved permanently to France, where we had already been spending half our lives. I got Jacques as a way to reconnect myself with the world; he kept me from spending my life crying on the sofa. I started the blog to stay in touch with my US friends, and to chart my transition to life here.

So, the house renovation, the garden transformation, some travel, Jean-Yves. You didn’t read about the guys I dumped because they didn’t understand the importance of Jacques in my life. Jean-Yves treated him like a beloved stepchild. I wish he were here to be miserable with me.

Anyway, with Jacques’ death, I have transitioned. It’s all over but the paperwork, which in France never ends. Still, France is home; I don’t foresee another move. The house is done. It’s just maintenance, now. We’re planting out long-dreamt schemes for the garden. Now it’s all about fertilizer and pruning.

Somewhat to my surprise, I’m an old lady. I don’t feel old but at 71 I guess I qualify. Old men are dying like flies, so I have to figure there will not be another Robert or Jean-Yves. I am grateful for my years with them and dare not presume that a third lovely man will come into my life. Well, they do, but not in that way.

Tom got it exactly right. Like him I may leave the blog up for a while, but close comments. Some of you have my email address. I would love to hear from you. Some of you are blog buddies; I will check in, so keep blogging. Some of you even know where I live; the door is open to you. For everyone else in my tiny community of followers, thank you for being here.

11 thoughts on “Jacques Report”

  1. Oh dear Lynn – that is such sad news but I understand that your blog has come full circle. I wish you all the very best, and that you will find comfort for your grief. God bless you.

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    1. Fast work. I disabled comments almost immediately! Thank you. You have been through quite a bit yourself. I’m impressed by how well you have handled it.

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    1. So good to hear from you, but what’s up with my “comments closed” setting? No, you won’t miss me, as I plan to haunt your comments section forevermore.😱 Jacques, though, he was part of the family, not just my own. More than once I heard some variation on “I’m taking him home with me.” They say all Westies have the same personality but I have no plans to tempt fate by getting another one right away. I’ll wait until the little guy isn’t running up against comparisons against the original.

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      1. Jacques certainly felt part of my family, I was hoping like hell he would pull through.
        I don’t know why people say that about breeds….a friend from years back always had Westies and they all had their own quirks.
        Glad to hear that I will have a resident ghost, though.

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        1. He’ll like Costa Rica, but he has to visit here sometimes, too. With him gone, the house and my life in it have lost much of their interest for me. Let me see if I can attach a photo a friend sent, from when he was 2 and the house was at its worst. No, can’t. I’ll add it to the fan page.

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          2. How weird. They eliminated my secondary pages. I think I fixed that. Go to the home page. There is a menu at the top. There are lots of photos on the Jacques Frost fan page. The last photo might be the earliest one. Jacques is on the steps. You can see enough of the house to wonder what I was thinking, taking on a project like that. Well, that’s the shape my life was in. I was rebuilding a house and myself, too. Let me know if the page is still screwed up.

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  3. Lynn, I’m so so so sorry. This is awful. I understand. I’ve been through it. Oh thank goodness for Sky. Mourn well my friend. Mourn well. Sending our best to you and sending sweet thoughts to the heavens – about Jacques.

    From Frank and Lydia

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    1. Lydia, are you the “anonymous” I’ve been deleting all this time? Or are there a slew of you? Really, I’m out there with my name and all; folks can at least cough up initials or a pen name or something. Me being cranky. Cranky is easier than sad.

      Anyway, thanks for the kind words. Jacques was my solace when Robert died. Now he’s gone, too. No puns, please, about the Quantum of Solace that Skyfall provides. Bone cancer, Lydia, exactly what so often takes out Wolfhounds. I look at this lively, loopy dog and think OMG, not soon, okay? I take my mind off it by reading a book I just picked up: The Way of Chai, by Kevin Wilson. It’s soothing and undemanding, exactly what I need right now.

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